Narcissists and Boors - "Revenge" Gifting

First, the headline - almost says it all:

Trump backers get 'revenge gifts' from relatives: donations to liberal causes

So. 

Ken Urban, a playwright who teaches part time at Princeton University and voted Democratic, has made donations to the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) on behalf of his parents as their Christmas gifts.

Ken Urban: ‘I thought I could make a point and in the process be generous to a human rights cause.’

“My father was the Republican mayor of my small home town in New Jersey and spent his career in the navy reserve. My mother told me she would never vote for Hillary Clinton because they have a friend who works for the CIA who said she was ‘difficult’. And there are aunts and uncles and cousins in my family who voted for Trump,” said Urban.

He is ruing the fact that he and his boyfriend agreed, before the election, to attend a big family Christmas gathering for the first time in 20 years.

But the SPLC donations on behalf of his parents will take the sting out of it.

What kind of narcissistic petty monster do you have to be to do this?

I get it, you may be pissed at your relatives and all, but let's step back for a second.

The tackiest kind of gift is getting something that you want for someone else, knowing that they either likely won't use it, or even if they do you'll benefit from it.  Why is it tacky? Because it's exactly the opposite of what a gift should be - you sacrificing your own time, money, effort, etc. to get something for someone else without expectation of benefit. I'll leave out gifts exchanged as diplomatic moves, gifts in some cultures as de facto bribes, etc.

This isn't "I took my money and spent it on something else instead of you" - which is still an insulting message, but at least it's honest. This isn't sacrificing of themselves for something they support and still making a token show of respect for the parents who raised them or other family members. This isn't them simply deciding that family drama wasn't worth the time spent on gifts and contact. This is a way of admonishing someone under the guise of doing something for them. It's deliberately doing something they hate and are morally opposed to and calling it "for your enjoyment and benefit."

It's a petty coward who wants to know they hurt people, to rub it in their faces.

These people are poison.