Next up, as I started digging into the Cruxshadows - and no, not all sources were originally legit, though iTunes already existed so I started buying the albums once I was satisfied with a few songs - "Seraphs" caught my eye. Especially the Revox Lost Souls mix.
My body's made of fire
black and deep and cold
burning for the choice i made
so many years ago
And love will keep me tethered
for my wings are stripped of flight
but into my mad deluded world
they cross the battle lines
into their end
One dream of God
One dream of less
one dream of strength and cowardice
with the rage of the seraphs at my side
One dream of man
one dream of hate
one dream of love
one dream of hate
with the rage of the seraphs at my side
The punishments I carry now
are of my own design
for once I brought the hand of God
and now this gift is mine
A fallen angel who once stood among the holy host and now is cast out, in punishment.
She cries, children often do
When they're cold, and hungry too,
Come closer, look deeply in her eyes
So delicate, quite unlike her smile
Life clinging backwards,
In the fall of dread confusion,
Still this silence gnaws upon your fingertips,
All-yielding prayer, for instant isolation,
Far more sinister than the price of doubt,
Yet you remain,
Still you remain,
And she says:
Pray for daylight,
Pray for morning,
Pray for an end to our deception,
Pray for daylight,
Pray for morning,
Pray for an end to our deception...
Life clinging backwards,
In the fall of dread confusion,
Still this silence gnaws upon your fingertips,
All-yielding prayer, for instant isolation,
Far more sinister than the price of doubt,
Yet you remain,
Still you remain,
And she says:
Pray for daylight,
Pray for morning,
Pray for an end to our deception,
Pray for daylight,
Pray for morning,
Pray for an end to our deception...
(Violin solo)
Pray for daylight,
Pray for morning,
Pray for an end to our deception,
Pray for daylight,
Pray for morning,
Pray for an end to our deception...
(X3)
This one actually has a fair bit to unpack - but it's an interestingly creepy song about a girl vampire on the hunt.
Last up, "Marilyn, My Bitterness." Yeah, it's your typical breakup song, but it's still got cool music.
Having been introduced to the Darkwave/Goth band the Crüxshadows courtesy of John Ringo's books, it was now off to the races to find more of their stuff, and so I stumbled, not into Ethernaut, from which "Winterborn" and "Citadel" were pulled, but one of their remix albums Frozen Embers.
There are a few interesting retakes here, but my favorite in many ways is the only remix I like of Return - the Assemblage 23 remix. Since Ethernaut went with a Trojan War theme, and given their penchant to refer to myth and religion, I'm fairly sure the song refers to, or was inspired by, Odysseus.
Return (Coming Home)
I've seen the terrible hand of struggle
and felt the pain the hubris brings
I have tasted the wisdom of divinity
and the horror of its sting
And though they tell you i am lost
and their words report my death is come
the fates have left me breathing still
very much alive
And though my mind is cut by battles
fought so long ago
I return victorious
I am coming home
And if the paths that I have followed
have tread against the flow
there is no need for sorrow
I am coming home
For the distance I have traveled
upon an ocean of despair
have led me back into your arms once more
an answer to a little prayer
The next track I stumbled into off of Ethernaut was also one recommended of of one of John Ringo's book inspiration playlists - Citadel. Another danceable, synth-heavy, driving song. In it, you can see the inspiration for the battlestation developed in the Troy Rising books.
Lyrically it is one of their shorter and more repetitive songs. The first verse sets the scene, with cold winds, storm, and rain arriving as an omen of the human storm arriving to besiege the title fortress. Then we shift viewpoints, to a soldier at the gates, looking on all of this, unbowed, determined to stand.
I see storms on the horizon I see the tempest at the gates I see storms on the horizon And a citadel alone Clinging brave defying fate And I will stand here at the gates to face the onslaught fighting Without surrender or defeat With Troy besieged by tyrants' greed - (tyranny) In Hector's memory, God willing We shall save this victory Without surrender or defeat
The song poetically recalls the fragility of each moment that defeat has not arrived, of Achilles death, and closes with a determination that Troy shall not fall. We know it does, but the sacrifice, the courage, the unwillingness to bow, the sheer heroism are to be treasured.
A long time ago John dumped a bunch of his id into book format, and brought us Mike Harmon, the Paladin of Shadows, and origin of the "Oh John Ringo, No" meme (an absolutely hysterical read, btw). One of the things prominent even in the earliest publicly available snippets were references to a song by the Crüxshadows, a darkwave/goth band, called "Winterborn".
So I checked it out. Heavy on opening synths. A danceable beat. Meh voice. Absolutely driven in it's delivery, and while dark, not nihilistic.
Now - I have a varied musical past - rooted in a weird mishmash of symphonic and broadway, Laurence Whelk, european folk, the Kiss Halloween special, radio country (and western, both types of music) and classic rock, metal, then new wave, and later grunge/goth/industrial and electronica. So I liked it.
I'll even forgive the macspeech synthesized voices.
The song refers to a rough translation from the Iliad: For the warriors of Illium were those most powerful and fell, They were those born of winter.
They are used to hardship. They are used to pain, and did not have a soft childhood or origins. They are ready and willing to sacrifice and suffer in order to survive, to ensure others - their friends, their families do. Winter is cold, bleak, but that which endures it springs to life. It also is unforgiving. In a world of whiny emo bands that can't see anything more important than their own personal issues, it was a fucking breath of fresh air.
Dry your eyes
And quietly bear this pain with pride,
For heaven shall remember the silent and the brave.
And promise me, they will never see
The fear within our eyes. (my eyes are closed)
For we will give strength to those who still remain.
Touching on stoicism instead of the emotional hypersensitivity of much of today's generation, as well as how panic and fear are contagious - by comporting ourselves, we set expectations for those around us, keep those with us calm.
Later:
Hold your head up high
For there is no greater love
Think of the faces of the people you defend
And promise me, they will never see
The tears within our eyes (My eyes are closed)
Although we are men with mortal sins,
Angels never cry
Echoing the classic line of poetry, and the need, desire, at least in those with honor, to try and live up to our ideals, and embody the image of them.
And in the fury of this darkest hour
We will be your light
You've asked me for my sacrifice
And I am Winter born
Without denying, a faith in God
That I have never known
I hear the angels call my name
And I am Winter born
And in the fury of this darkest hour
I will be your light
A lifetime for this destiny
For I am winter born
And in this moment...
I will not run, it is my place to stand
We few shall carry hope
Within our bloodied hands
Without denying, a faith in God That I have never known - in a way this embodies my own sometimes shaky relationship with the divine. The Creator. God. I have known, and more solidly now know, faith, but there are always periods of doubt.
And in this moment... I will not run, it is my place to stand - We constantly choose. To do, or not. To stand, or give in. He is winterborn - a soldier, and protecting his people. He will do his utmost to save them, and not give in to fear, to panic. He will not run - he has chosen his place.
I started checking out the album it came from, Ethernaut. The theme of the entire album is the Trojan war. Citadel refers to Troy. This was my first inkling that a) they could be godawful pretentious at times, and b) they often enough pulled it off well enough that I could listen to my favorites repeatedly, while ignoring the rest. That said, the band has certain themes. Where Sabaton's last few albums have been about war and warriors, the Crüxshadows tend to deal in myth and history, especially greek. While some of there songs can be hopelessly pedastalizing, others deal in standing and fighting for ideals, for civilization. They're uneven, but in a goth/emo world awash with pointless and nihilistic navel gazing, a band that looks out, that looks to myth, that looks to divinity, to nobility, is a breath of fresh air.
Also - they put on one fun concert - while I'll be posting it when discussing the song, the video for Birthday is a live show of theirs, I believe at some music festival, with a good size crowd.
I welcome any comments on these - as I'm just trying to put down what I get out of these songs, what they speak of to me, and not a full - blown literary critique.
Aside from the Ringo book I mentioned earlier - and that the Didact took John to task about the lack of sequels - I wanted to delve deeper into the Cruxshadows song "Eye of the Storm." Actually, I'll be going through a lot of their songs that I enjoy, and while the order will generally be somewhat chronological, in the order I ran into them more or less, this will be an exception. On the Goth spectrum they're more dance, less whiney, "Darkwave", and so closer overall to the Sisters of Mercy than Bauhaus - though Peter Murphy's Deep is an album I still play. Rogue's voice can take getting used to, some of the lyrics can come across as pretentious poetry, and they certainly layer greek myth and religious symbolism almost as heavily as Sabaton does warriors and warfare. They also play violins.
But why start here? After all, my first exposure was Winterborn, courtesy of the inimitable authorial crack output of John Ringo.
First of all, I had the chance to run into Rogue, the lead singer, at Dragon*Con in Atlanta years back. He was a very relaxed, open, and chill dude. I ended up chatting for a fairly long time - and am glad that no-one else was hitting him up for autographs at the time - specifically about this song.
It didn't hurt that the dancers were hot in a goth-faerie kind of way.
The concert was fantastic, including a killer rendition of Immortal.
It's a long song so I'll include the full copy at the end.
There are a number of ways you can take the opening - both secular and religious. It certainly isn't in conflict with the concept that God would not give you a test greater than you are able to handle if you but trust in him.
The trials you now are facing,
They are not greater than your will,
For there is nothing under Heaven,
You cannot overcome.
See the door that lies before you,
And know - this too shall pass.
The confrontation of your fears,
In strength drawn from the past.
Skip forward a few stanzas
I believe in what I fight for,
And I have paid for it with pain.
I am here because my contributions,
May help turn this fate away.
And all who stood by and did nothing,
Who are they to criticize?
The sacrifices of others-
Our blood has bought their lives...
Ahhh.. head-exploding goodness. I believe in what I fight for.... While a lot of their songs can be as pedastalizing as any pop bands, they certainly get the "warrior sacrifice" thing - a reason John became huge friends with them (and was at Rogue's wedding...). Most notably, echoing Roosevelt's "man in the arena" - And all who stood by and did nothing, Who are they to criticize?
Belief. Kratman of the Carrera novels based an entire spinoff in the Posleen universe, The Tuloriad, the entire point of which was the need to bring religion to a religious war. To believe in something that gives you the will to fight. Having the swiss guard stand and fight with pikes, not so much echoing but rhyming with the last stand of the guard in 1527 with better results, was a bonus.
I believe in what I fight for. Let that roll off your tongue. Civilization. Western values, and free men. Leftists no longer believe in the civilization that gave them birth, and will no longer fight for it.
There is no love untouched by hate,
No unity without discord.
There is no courage without fear,
There is no peace without a war.
There is no wisdom without regret,
No admiration without scorn.
There is strife within the tempest,
But there is calm in the eye of the storm...
In no real universe with humans will we ever be without anger, without hate, without fear. Even trying is damn near the definition of insanity. If we don't have scorn, how can we even have admiration? How does it have meaning? Without something to be afraid of, where can there be courage?
Without the negatives, how can we choose the positives?
The pages of our history,
Are written by the hand,
With eyes and ears and prejudice,
Too far removed to understand.
And so the heroes of the ages
Are stripped of honesty and love.
To make them seem less noble,
And hide what we can become.
Once, in the days of Herodotus, those who wrote history, who spoke of battles and war, were the educated class, and thus also the ones who kept their armor, stood in a phalanx, and marched with spear and sword. They knew the sound of a swordblade scraping on teeth.
Most modern historians know no such thing. They have avoided the battlefield and think themselves better for it. Morally better. And they look with disdain at those who have fought. And not having fought, not having gotten in the cage, in thinking it was lesser, they strip our heroes of all that is noble. They wallow in the gutter and tell us there are no angels, that we cannot touch the divine.
Incidentally, it was these paragraphs I specifically talked with Rogue about.
If you find the courage within you,
To face the path ahead,
It matters not the outcome,
If what you will gain instead,
Is a heart deepened in the knowing,
That experience carves the soul,
And the very thing that empties you,
Shall surely make you whole.
Even failure can teach you, if you are willing to get back up and try again, to learn, instead of hide. In the Nietzschean sense, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Eye of the Storm by The Cruxshadows
The trials you now are facing,
They are not greater than your will,
For there is nothing under Heaven,
You cannot overcome.
See the door that lies before you,
And know - this too shall pass.
The confrontation of your fears,
In strength drawn from the past.
Where the silent voices whisper,
'Find the course that is your own,
And however great the obstacle,
You will never be alone.'
For I have watched the path of Angels,
And I have heard the Heavens roar.
There is strife within the tempest,
But there is calm in the eye of the storm.
In fragments of an instant,
The chaos has returned,
And all that was left to sentiment,
Beneath the banner burned.
And as that voice was slow receded,
Into echoes, memory,
My doubts were re-ignited,
And fear awakened from it's sleep.
I believe in what I fight for,
And I have paid for it with pain.
I am here because my contributions,
May help turn this fate away.
And all who stood by and did nothing,
Who are they to criticize?
The sacrifices of others-
Our blood has bought their lives...
This is the moment of truth,
At the point of no return.
Place faith in your convictions,
As boundaries start to blur.
There is no love untouched by hate,
No unity without discord.
There is no courage without fear,
There is no peace without a war.
There is no wisdom without regret,
No admiration without scorn.
There is strife within the tempest,
But there is calm in the eye of the storm...
The pages of our history,
Are written by the hand,
With eyes and ears and prejudice,
Too far removed to understand.
And so the heroes of the ages
Are stripped of honesty and love.
To make them seem less noble,
And hide what we can become.
This is the moment of truth,
At the point of no return.
Place faith in your convictions,
As the boundaries start to blur.
There is no love untouched by hate,
No unity without discord
There is no courage without fear,
There is no peace without a war.
There is no wisdom without regret,
No admiration without scorn
There is strife within the tempest,
And there is calm in the eye of the storm...
There is no love untouched by hate,
No unity without discord
There is no courage without fear,
There is no peace without a war.
There is no wisdom without regret,
No admiration without scorn
There is strife within the tempest,
And calm in the eye of the storm...
There is no love untouched by hate,
No unity without discord.
There is no courage without fear,
There is no peace without a war.
There is no wisdom without regret,
No admiration without scorn.
There is strife within the tempest,
And there is calm in the eye of the storm...
If you find the courage within you,
To face the path ahead,
It matters not the outcome,
If what you will gain instead,
Is a heart deepened in the knowing,
That experience carves the soul,
And the very thing that empties you,
Shall surely make you whole.
Where the silent voices whisper,
'Find the course that is your own,
And however great the obstacle,
You will never be alone.'
For I have watched the path of Angels,
And I have heard the Heavens roar.
There is strife within the tempest,
But there is calm in the eye of the storm.
